I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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