I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
