Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
