Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Randomize
