I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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