Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
