before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
My cat gives me a boner
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
