Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
