This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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