omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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