i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Randomize
