considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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