I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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