Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Fuck appropriateness.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
