some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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