Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
