Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
