why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I'm jealous of your bromance
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
