these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
