PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize