Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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