Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
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