At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
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