I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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