Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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