Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
We're too hungover to prance.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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