Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
worst night to have a conscience
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
