My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Semen is not good for contacts.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Randomize
