matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
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