I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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