wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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