had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
