she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
