rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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