He is an equal opportunity slut.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
she pinky promised me she was 18
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Randomize
