Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
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