the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Randomize
