well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
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