His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize