i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
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