does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
