We got so high we made milksteak
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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