So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Randomize
