PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
