wanna go halves on a baby?
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
