maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Randomize
