I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
