I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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