All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
