so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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