Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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