I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
