from now on my penis is your penis
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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