Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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