why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
