what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Randomize
