You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
