Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
