hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
