I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
