I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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