if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
